I’ve spotted a new trend among the resort set and I for one am ready to capitalize. This new party trend is an inadvertent takeoff on the tailgate party. I’m calling it the Tailpipe PartyTM and I am creating a whole new set of games and accessories to be sure that your tailpipe party is the talk of the neighborhood, just in time for the holidays.

I got the idea for the Tailpipe PartyTM from watching people. Some open the hatches of their SUVs or drop the tailgates of their pickups or just lean against the back bumper of their cars while their tailpipe spews smog right into their faces. I see this every day in and around Fraser but the party is happening all over. What a waste of perfectly propelled hot nectar! Lots of folks are already hanging around the pipe, let’s make it fun.

I once saw a fire truck idling in the innocent grills (slang for faces) of children preparing for a “fun race.” I approached the uniformed attendant and expressed my concern about the poison in the kid’s faces. “They like the lights,” he said and turned away.

Lights! That’s it! A Tailpipe PartyTM has got to have lights! Not only are lights festive, especially for the kids, but they also provide a beacon for emergency personnel to respond to when Tailpipe PartygoersTM start feeling lightheaded. So, the basic Tailpipe PartyTM kit will definitely include bright, blinking and rotating lights.

Of course, it would be silly to ignore the heating properties inherent in a tailpipe party. The key is to harness some of that heat before it is released into this ice cold world. The grill and heater kills two birds with one stone: It cooks brats, burgers and onion rings and puts off enough warmth for 2.5 adults. The pewter cup holder keeps that hot cocoa steaming for the kids. A fish attachment and canary smoker will also be part of the standard Tailpipe PartyTM package.

An attachment routes exhaust though chilly ski and snowboard boots and gloves and socks dry quickly when attached via the handy clips. For larger SUVs and trucks with exhaust pipe circumference greater than 7.5 inches, a potato launcher attachment is a sure attention-getter. Simply load and plunge the wadded spud, attach the rubber adaptor to the tailpipe, and hold in place until projectile is propelled. Greater distances can be obtained by revving the engine.

We all know what a hassle it can be to inflate sledding tubes and inflatable mattresses. Sure some manufacturers make electric pumps that hook onto your car or truck battery. But our product keeps you safely away from those dangerous terminals and red and black wires. Select the proper adapter and pump up those inflatables without exhausting yourself.

The TailpiperTM who wants to show off can add an inflatable funhouse, nativity scene, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny or oversized NFL helmet. Check the catalog for dual tailpipe and 18 wheeler adaptors, now available in pirate colors.

As with any new fad, it’s recommended that you use the Tailpipe PartyTM attachments sparingly. As some people know, vehicle exhaust is extremely dangerous and real use of the Tailpipe PartyTM attachments would not be prudent. Come to think of it, maybe Tailpipe PartiesTM should be illegal. For our own good.

Steve Skinner is always surprised when he sees a Tailpipe PartyTM which is almost every day. Reach him at nigel@sopris.net.