Mike Tyson doesn’t do anything halfway. He killdozed his way through his boxing career and had a professional record of 50-6-2 with 44 knockouts. He likes tattoos so much that he had a “tribal tattoo” engraved on half of his face, saying that it represents his “warrior status.”
The only thing that will ring your bell more than heavyweight boxing is heavyweight smoking.
On a recent Fox News interview, Iron Mike, warrior face slightly sagging, copped to smoking $40,000 worth of weed per month. His partner in crime, Eben Britton, said that, “We smoke ten tons of weed on the ranch a month.”
Talk about building up a tolerance! Tyson’s conversation skills have never been that snappy but now he’s as dull as a baseball bat.
I’d print the exact quote from the Fox interview but it might spoil your day. Plus, the amount of moronic F-bombs he spills in two sentences would fill up this entire paper. He also claims to be making $500,000 a month selling Iron Mike bud to California dispensaries.
Big money spoils everything and Mike Tyson is the perfect example of someone who has been hopelessly dumbed down by having too much money, too much testosterone and way too much THC.
Back in the day, he said some real meaningful stuff.
Like, “When Jesus comes back, these crazy, greedy, capitalistic men are gonna kill him again.”
And, “Real freedom is having nothing. I was freer when I didn’t have a cent.”
Now he mumbles incoherently and cashes checks for a living.
Last fall, the state of Colorado released its first comprehensive baseline report on the effects of cannabis on Colorado and her users.
The Denver Post reported that, “The number of adults who use marijuana increased between 2014 and 2017, with men getting high more often than women and young adults ages 18 to 25 the most frequent users.”
All these users are spending a lot of dough, one gram at a time. By last October, Colorado had recorded $1.27 billion in sales.
I know what you are wondering … “What are the downsides to factory farming pot?”
I’m glad you asked, because William Vizuete, associate professor at the University of North Carolina’s Gillings School of Public Health, has discovered that large grows release a high level of volatile organic compounds (VOCs). These VOCs have been found to be harmful to humans causing stuff like cancer and liver damage. That’s why we have low VOC paints and other chemicals.
There are more than 600 legal grow operations in Denver alone and officials are now concerned that the emissions from these big grows are combining with vehicle exhaust to create a toxic stew of ground level ozone. The illegal grow operations are potentially worse, emitting VOCs and sucking up precious water resources and spreading pesticides across the land.
I voted to legalize weed. Locking people up for having a bong hit is expensive and excessive. But just like many other things produced on an industrial scale, there are real consequences that go beyond enabling the casual user.
People like Mike Tyson are cashing in while smoking $40,000 worth of pot each month. By the way, that must be fake news. Friends that are in the know say you can get about $2,000 for a pound of good Colorado bud.
I’m no mathematician, but that means Iron Lung Mike is burning down 20 pounds per month. There are about 453 grams in a pound. You can roll at least two fatties per gram. That’s 900 doobies per pound. That’s 18,000 blunts a month. Each big fat number would give you at least 30 big tokes. That’s 540,000 lung-fulls per month. The average person takes about 20,000 breaths per day. That means Mike is breathing 600,000 times per month, with only 60,000 smoke-free breaths. He must have tattoos on his lungs.
Steve Skinner thinks big money wrecks everything. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.