Welcome cannabis enthusiasts. Welcome to the beautiful state of Colorado.
Welcome vaporizers, lollipop lickers, bongers and blunters. We have the drinks, the drops, the candy the buds, the kief and the bubble hash. It’s all here for you. We have warehouses full of Mary Jane budding and blooming in the area right now. Get your “Sour Diesel,” “Strawberry Cough,” “Blue Dream” and “Chemdog.” No waiting.
Marijuana is a pervasive industry providing jobs, infrastructure investments, taxes and tourist dollars to the state. When you look past the bud counter you will see that it is raining money. Make sure that your umbrella is upside down.
In the old days local police took a laid back approach to weed, which was good. Now it’s legal the police don’t have to worry too much, unless your rental car is so fogged up with bong juice that the police can’t see who’s driving.
I supported legalization. I voted for it. If someone wants to grow some plants in the yard, let them. Let the sun come down and let the water drip in and let the photosynthesis happen. It’s only natural.
Here in the valley, jars full of super strong nuggets are available in many casual retail environments. As you gawk at the products you might wonder how did those buds end up looking like that? They are beautiful! They are so big and hard and hairy and enticing and smelly. The nugs of chronic in every jar look like centerfolds from High Times magazine. Welcome.
The thing is, commercial growers have figured out how to grow wonderbud very quickly. Environmental conditions at large grows are strictly controlled. They know how much to fertilize, how much fungicide to use, which insect control chemicals work best and which minerals and other ingredients make the buds grow fat and sticky. If fat and sticky is what you want, there are many shelves for you here.
Don’t get me wrong. I want everyone to have a good time.
I’m just surprised when I see the labels on dispensary pot canisters. The ingredient list on these labels is a mile long. The type on the list is so small that I have to use my strongest reading glasses just to see them. I see more than 35 ingredients. There’s no way I could pronounce them all. It’s chemical mumbo jumbo!
Some of the ingredients listed on these labels are product names, so you really have no idea what is in your whacky tabacci.
Agromineral 72? What the hell is that? Probably a mineral concentrate and biostimulant but I cannot find the listed ingredient anywhere in cyberspace as it is listed on the weed label I am looking at now.
I saw a label from a Denver dispensary listing stuff like Spiromesifen in its “ingredients used in production” label. Spiromesifen a mite killer. Might be a mighty strong might killer.
In June, 2016 a marijuana cultivation business in Denver recalled all their products after discovering unsafe levels of pesticide residues in everything they make.
I’m not saying that the weed you buy locally has any such chemicals. I’m certain that the list that you see on that $15 doobie are as benign as a banana. Well, pretty sure.
Big money spoils everything.
In October of 2016 the appropriately named, “Tree of Wellness” store in Colorado Springs and Colorado cannabis provider recalled products statewide that, according to the Denver Health Department, contained Spiromesifen, Myclobutanil, Spinosun and Avermectin.
Nothing says, “Let’s Party!” like vaporizing Myclobutanil residue.
Oh well, I can’t hope to keep up with the times.
In the good old days the neighbor grew a few plants in the compost pile outside. You could take a puff and still ski down Mary Jane. Even though his plants grew high and thick, I’m pretty sure Joe wasn’t adding molybdenum.
I discovered that Sodium Molybdate is a good source of molybdenum and another ingredient you will see on some commercial bud labels. According to Wikipedia, the agriculture industry uses one million pounds of Sodium Molybdate per year as fertilizer. Everyone’s doing it. Must be safe.
Commercial growers want stuff that grows as fast, fat and as finished as possible. They use ingredients and growing conditions that maximize the potential and potency. It’s science.
Have these combinations been tested on lab rats? Or are they just par for the course like a lot of the commercial produce we consume?
Go to the grocery store. The biggest bell pepper is not always the best, right?
Thank the cannigods that recreational weed is now legal in California, Nevada, Maine and Massachusetts. The more the merrier. Now maybe everyone won’t have move to Colorado just to smoke weed. I don’t have anything against smoking weed. I’d just hate to see Colorado get too popular, or should I say “potular?”
I know. I know. “Everybody must get stoned.” I’m not complaining.
I just never knew that they could get that many ingredients into a bong hit.
Steve Skinner thinks you should pay extra for the organic stuff. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.